Adventures in Prayer

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

The past few days I have been unable to relax.  I am terrified about what happened to Ryan and I last Saturday and I don't know how to put into words the constant feeling I have in my chest.  There are definite moments of relief--when I facetime with my sister and JM, when I find the perfect wedding shoe (no shame), or when I get distracted with something else--but most moments I am trying not to cry, trying not to focus too much on the absolute terror I feel about moving to DC, trying not to get too caught up in just wishing Ryan could come back to Milwaukee and we never have to move. 

I am really struggling.  And it is really hard to talk about because he was the only person with me and if we both talk about it...then the feeling is TOO much.  I feel like it just doesn't make sense to put into words.  SO...I am heavily relying on the power of prayer.  I have been praying nonstop, for peace of mind, for peace in the country, for peace in our world, for the ability to breathe easy, in thankfulness that Ryan and I are safe.

It is so hard to not think, "it could be so much worse, this wasn't that bad, I am bring a baby," and then sometimes I think, "oh my gosh, that happened to you!  freak out! you are totally allowed to sleep 11 hours because you need it right now." 

I am just trying to find a place in between and seeking and looking forward to a time soon where this will be just a story tell and not a feeling so heavy in my chest that I don't want to leave my apartment.

This isn't what I ever wanted my blog to be like, so I hope you can forgive one non-light hearted post.  I just needed to write this down somewhere.  Please keep us in your prayers and I will continue praying for all of you too :)

To make us all feel better, enjoy this adorable picture of JM (and my very enthusiastic laughing face)!

And my beautiful wedding shoes 

2 comments:

  1. Prayers Megan! That does sound so so scary and you totally are allowed to be shook up by it! I know I would be for sure!!
    The shoes are beautiful BTW, and I will be praying for you that you can find some peace. Maybe ask your Guardian Angel? He was definitely involved with keeping you safe that day and you always have him right there beside you.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Amy! Emily gave me the exact same advice about my guardian angel! I really appreciate it and the extra prayers! :)

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