PLAIDGLITTERDINO

Friday, August 19, 2016

So, seven years ago, I was 20 and had a blog in college and I thought I was hilarious.  I just remembered this blog existed and poor Ryan because I made him read almost all of it.  To share the love, here is a beautiful post I wrote seven years ago (and still completely stand by) all about why nail polish is a better predictor than a horoscope.  And, yes, the name of my blog was plaidglitterdino.  Which makes so much sense.  Enjoy!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

some people use horoscopes, i refer to nail polish

The idea of a blog is so intimidating.  Or, at least it was until I realized very few people will actually be reading this.  This is purely for my personal enjoyment and those few close friends who find my sense of humor as endearing as my grandpa always likes to inform all of his closest friends.

I realize with that introduction I have put an incredible amount of pressure on my shoulders. Similar to the Nemo's dad, just because he's a clown fish doesn't mean his jokes have the best delivery or that anyone else really enjoys them.  Just because one seventy-something year old man finds me and my "wit" so wonderful does not mean that you will.  But, just humor me, for self esteem's sake. 

I've discovered today that I can predict my very own future even more accurately than any horoscope or psychic (and believe me, I've tried them both.  According to the psychic at Universal Studios, when I am 50 something tragic is going to happen in my life, that idea will haunt me until my 51st birthday).  Apparently my nail polish color does this all on its own.  To have the best day, with the best luck, go with a nice sparkler.  It's not necessarily what Seventeen Magazine will tell you what is "in" for the summer but they're not always right either!  Glitter automatically puts you in a better mood (and if it doesn't have that effect on you then stop reading this right now because I automatically don't like you).  A dark shade, depending on the outfit, can really make you feel complete.  For example, if you're wearing an outfit with some black accents and don't mind that the "Chanel Black Nail Polish" isn't the hottest color on the market these days (funny fact: the only reason I ever even knew that was because of my own dad) some shiny black finger nails can really pull your outfit together.   

I have one more color theory.  For me, nail polish works like a tiara works for a little girl.  That tiara can make a little girl a princess.  To onlookers that little girl looks cute and adorable in her tiara but, no one else is picturing her in a castle in a far away land waiting for her prince charming like she is.  Although I don't walk around wearing a tiara (I just watched the Princess Diaries and I honestly wish it was socially acceptable to do this in public other than on your birthday ((&even then its a little much)) or on halloween) I do, however, have a teal nail polish that literally makes me feel like a mermaid.  It doesn't matter what happens to me on those days but I look down at my nails and imagine myself ten years ago at the local pool swimming underwater with my little sister letting our imaginations transform us into mermaids, dolphins, and even sharks (when we felt a little rebellious).

Mind you, I am no "fashionista" or girl obsessed with my clothes and nails, it's just a simple way, I've discovered, that I can make my day and it is much cheaper than therapy or even a nice bar of dark chocolate (this, also without fail, will always make you happier).

If you're reading this, I probably love you, and hopefully you aren't surprised by my in depth analysis of nail polish colors.  I promise you, that from here on out these posts will get better... or at least more entertaining :) And if you still disagree or think I'm weird, I don't like you anyways. hmph.

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